Indianapolis Colts tackle Braden Smith: ‘Every day for me is really a victory’
The suicide of Dallas Cowboys defensive end Marshawn Kneeland last week has put mental health into the NFL conversation alongside playoff chances and player performances.
For Indianapolis Colts offensive tackle Braden Smith, his mental-health challenges last year, when he felt he was “a month away from putting a bullet through my brain,” have led him to advocate for improvements intended to head off tragedies like Kneeland’s death.
The former Auburn All-American is working with the NFL Players Association to make it easier for players to get effective assistance and hopes the NFL will create a designation for mental-health issues that mirrors injured reserve for physical ailments.
Smith said being able to talk about a problem or to talk to someone who seems to have an issue is “the biggest thing.”
“I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and depression,” Smith said during an appearance on NBC Sports’ “Pro Football Talk” this week, “and it completely, like, took the life out of me. I mean, you could tell even my performance on the field, like it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t the same person. I wasn’t having fun playing football. I wasn’t having fun just being a father or a husband because I was so consumed by what was going on with me with my mental state that it was really hard. …
“I think first and foremost just speaking to anyone that’s close to you, whether maybe it’s a teammate, a parent, a loved one, I think that’s the biggest thing, that’s the biggest start, and that’s kind of where it started for me, especially is just like getting out in the open because you know if we keep it in, if we keep it locked down, it’s hard to have any healing in that sense.
“So we need to be able to just talk about it, and nowadays, like, there’s, obviously, that stigma that people don’t want to talk about these things because you know there might be that worry that people think that there’s something wrong with me or this might jeopardize my standings with maybe in a job or such. So I think the biggest thing is just talking to someone to start off with and just knowing that each team has licensed clinicians, and, like, we’re working on some certain things, too, now to expand those resources and having some more resources readily available for teams.”
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Smith missed the final five games of the 2024 season and ended up on the non-football injury/illness list. Players on NFI do not have to be paid their full salaries, as players on IR are.
“Thinking about treating, like, physical injuries and the process that guys go through whether they go on IR or how they go about just getting treatment for that,” Smith said. “I think the mental side of it is, you know, we’re lacking on that end, and that’s something that can be improved also. Kind of like thinking about setting up a protocol because every case is different. My case was a little bit more dire, like I said. I had to go into an inpatient mental-health facility for 48 days. Some guys are just dealing with depression and anxiety on maybe a lower level. So it’s not a one-size-fits-all, but it’s like getting each guy the care that he needs specific to his needs is really important.
“And I’ve also mentioned before the IR for mental health because I was put on an NFI list, and fortunately enough I was part of an organization where their cause is mental health. For each team, it’s a little bit different on how they handle things, but I was in a very fortunate situation, and the Colts, they continued to pay me while I was receiving treatment. But it’s not necessary for a team to pay a player when he’s on NFI, and that’s kind of where I think it would be important that we can create an IR designation for mental health.
“And, obviously, like going through the protocol would help all that out in terms of diagnosis and getting that player what he needs. But I think all these things are important because at the end of the day, the player feels like he’s in a safe place that he’s able to talk about what he’s got going on, talk about these things and not worried about what the repercussions might be.”
Smith’s problem began in March 2024. Eventually, he was diagnosed with the obsessive-compulsive disorder subtype religious scrupulosity.
“There’s the actual, real, true, living God,” Smith said in April. “And then there’s my OCD god, and the OCD god is this condemning (deity). It’s like every wrong move you make, it’s like smacking the ruler against his hand: ‘Another bad move like that and you’re out of here.’”
The International OCD Foundation defines scrupulosity as an obsessive-compulsive disorder involving religious or moral obsessions in which the individual is “overly concerned that something they thought or did might be a sin or other violation of religious or moral doctrine. They may worry about what their thoughts or behavior mean about who they are as a person. … Unlike typical religious practice, scrupulous behavior usually exceeds or disregards religious law and may focus excessively on one area of religious practice while other, more important areas may be completely ignored.”
Smith had begun seeing a psychologist and been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. But even with therapy and medication, Smith’s crisis deepened, causing him to enter a mental-health facility in December. A planned four-week stay ended up lasting 48 days.
While Smith was diagnosed with religious scrupulosity at the facility, he didn’t leave markedly better than when he arrived.
That led Smith into reaching for a “last-ditch” solution – ibogaine. A plant-derived psychoactive compound that is illegal to use in the United States, ibogaine has shown promise in recent studies in the treatment of traumatic brain injuries for veterans. Smith went to Mexico in late January for a five-day treatment and returned better able to put his OCD-control strategies into practice.
“I felt very eager to prove something to myself,” Smith told The Associated Press last month. “Every day for me is really a victory because of everything that happened last year. Just being able to actually, truly enjoy life, there’s kind of this power that’s kind of harnessed when you’re able to identify the problem. You know these things still creep in, like I remember Sunday morning some stuff crept, and I was like, ‘I know what this is,’ and I used the tools. I was able to set it aside. I was like, ‘All right, you know these things still happen.’ OCD is still part of my life, it’s just how I manage it. …
“I’m honestly grateful for last year because without it, I wouldn’t have such a self-awareness of how I think, how I go about things. I learned a lot about myself through it, and I’m a better husband because of it, a better father because of it, a better teammate. And I’m continuing to grow as a person. My journey isn’t over yet. I still have a lot of room to grow and learn, and I look forward to that.”
A guard at Auburn, Smith transitioned to right tackle in the Colts’ offensive line as a second-round rookie in 2018. He’s been in that spot, when healthy, ever since.
This season, Smith has started every game and played 96 percent of the offensive snaps as Indianapolis has compiled an 8-2 record as perhaps the surprise team of the NFL’s 2025 season.
“There’s really just no ego,” Smith said, “and I really just feel like everyone’s bought in. And I don’t think anyone really had much expectations for us coming into the season, so it’s really just like, ‘Hey, let’s just go out there, just ball out and let’s see what happens.’ But, yeah, just the lack of ego and everyone’s to work each and every day, and I think that’s been putting us in a really good spot.”
The Colts defeated the Atlanta Falcons 31-25 in overtime on Sunday in Berlin, Germany. Indianapolis is in its bye week and plays next on Nov. 23, when the Colts visit the Kansas City Chiefs.
Smith said he plans to enjoy the open date.
“It’s just kind of having a taste of what it’s like to just be a regular human being again,” Smith said. “Just hanging out with my son, hanging out with my wife (former Auburn softball catcher Courtney Shea), and there’s always that to-do list at home to get done before I go back to playing again.”
Vic Fangio Sends Clear Message on New Eagles LB Jaelan Phillips
Jaelan Phillips is making quite the impression on his new Eagles teammates and coaches.
The 26-year-old linebacker was all over the field in his Philadelphia debut Monday night, recording two quarterback hits, six pressures, a tackle for loss and a fumble recovery in a 10-7 victory over the Packers.
As the Eagles head home to face the Lions in Week 10, defensive coordinator Vic Fangio remains in awe of his team’s newest weapon, who was acquired at the trade deadline from the Dolphins.
“He plays hard,” Fangio said. “He’s strong at the point, a good pass rusher. When you shop at Nordstrom’s, you get good stuff.”
Fangio Has Familiarity With Eagles New LB
Phillips is no stranger to playing for Fangio. In 2023 with Miami, Phillips recorded 6.5 sacks in eight games before tearing his Achilles. Fangio joined the Eagles the following season and was instrumental in leading the team to a victory in Super Bowl LIX.
Needing help at pass rusher, the Eagles traded a 2026 third-round pick before the Nov. 4 deadline to reunite Phillips with his old coordinator.
Just one game in, it looks like a wise investment. The Eagles held the Packers to 261 total yards and just one scoring drive. Green Bay’s only points came with 5:49 left on a Josh Jacobs 6-yard run.
Philadelphia has won three straight and sits comfortably atop the NFC East at 7-2.
Eagles Address Need for Pass Rushers
Phillips is in the final year of his contract, and because of his lengthy injury history and their difficult start, the Dolphins were apparently hesitant to commit to him long-term.
The fifth-year veteran had 25 tackles, three sacks and one fumble recovery in nine games with Miami this season, the final year of his rookie deal.
The Eagles rank 18th in total defense (327.9 yards allowed per game) but have the fifth-fewest sacks in the NFL with 19.
In addition to trading for Phillips, the Eagles coaxed veteran pass rusher Brandon Graham out of retirement. The 37-year-old Graham, who is third in franchise history in sacks (76.5) and first in games played (277), made his season debut against the Packers in a limited role. He did not record any stats.
